FAMILY MEDIATION: Resources for Separating Couples

General support, information and advice

Citizen's Advice Bureaux are an invaluable source of support and advice on a whole range of practical problems around modern living, including separation and divorce. Because of this they do get busy and it's worth ringing to make an appointment. To find out your nearest service visit their website on www.citizensadvice.org.uk. Alternatively try their online service at www.adviceguide.com

Divorce Aid is an independent group of professionals who have volunteers to provide divorce advice, support and information on any matter concerning you. They focus on the welfare of the child and promote mediation and counselling as well as good, professional legal advice. You can visit their website at www.divorceaid.co.uk for in-depth legal, financial, practical and emotional information and links to other sources of support.

The Samaritans are always there for you, all day and night, you can always phone them. No problem is too small and everything you say is confidential. There is no need to feel alone. When everyone is getting you down, you can talk to them and they will understand and talk it through with you. You can ring them on 08457 90 90 90 or visit their website at www.samaritans.org or email them on jo@samaritans.org (the email service is also confidential but is not able to respond immediately. They aim to reply within 24 hours).

Legal advice

If you're separating or divorcing, even if you intend to sit down together and work it out amicably, it's always worth taking some legal advice to make sure that you think about everything that you need to.

Community Legal Service Direct on 0845 345 4345 or www.clsdirect.org.uk has information about how to find local solicitors and legal advice centres. It can also advise whether you might be eligible for legal aid.

Resolution (formerly The Solicitors Family Law Association) provides information on all aspects of divorce and separation and lists expert family law solicitors. Visit www.resolution.org.uk

The Law Society also has a website www.lawsociety.org.uk which provides help in finding a solicitor near you. The site identifies solicitors offering legal aid and fixed fee interviews.

Putting your children first…

If you're wondering about how you can do your best for the children when you're thinking about splitting up, or even later, there are several places to get help.

Parent plans help you to think of all the things you will need to manage as parents, once you part. There is so much to sort out, you may not think of things that may be really important for your children. You can download the Parenting Plans: Putting Your Children First guide for separating parents from www.tso.co.uk/bookshop/gempdf/CAFCASS_Parenting_Plan.pdf

A good source of information if you're finding it difficult to come to arrangements about your children between yourselves is the Children and Family Courts Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass). They provide information for children and parents involved in family disputes and have a really helpful website on www.cafcass.gov.uk

If you want contact to happen between your children and their non-resident parent or even other family members but there's no way of arranging it that you can see, you could contact the National Association of Child Contact Centres. Click on www.naccc.org.uk to find out more information and details of contact centres in your area.

Parenting support

When you're in a state of change yourself, it can be hard to be carrying on parenting as if nothing is happening. And, in any case, children have a sixth sense about whether something's going on for their parents - so if you don't talk to them, they'll probably imagine something much worse. It's tricky though knowing what to say and when and how to support the children when you do say whatever you decide.

The Parenting Plan booklet (see Putting your children first above) covers the who, what, when, where, how and why of telling the children. Other sources of support and guidance are:

Parentline Plus who offer a free 24 hour helpline on 0808 800 2222 or you can visit their website on www.parentlineplus.org.uk for help and info on all aspects of parenting, including handling divorce and separation.

The NCH website at www.itsnotyourfault.org has a section on help for separating parents. It has really good sections for children and young people too that you might want to let your children know about.

Families Need Fathers is a support and information organisation for fathers. Their website address is www.fnf.org.uk and they have a helpline open from 7.00 pm to 10.00 pm on 0870 7607496. They may also offer a support group in your area and to find out more go to:
www.bothparentsmatter.org.uk email: info@bothparentsmatter.org.uk or phone on 0300 0300 276.

To find out what children and young people who have experienced family change have to say about it and their advice to those in similar situations you can visit www.cf.ac.uk/claws/kids. They talk about some good things too and have a section for parents.

Support in mediation

The Courts service website at www.hm-courts-service.gov.uk offers a whole range of useful advice and guidance through the divorce process, including downloadable forms. There are also links to other useful websites and sources of help and support.

Citizen's Advice Bureaux are an invaluable source of support and advice on a whole range of practical problems around modern living, including separation and divorce. Because of this they do get busy and it's worth ringing to make an appointment. To find out your nearest service visit their website on www.citizensadvice.org.uk. Alternatively try their online service at www.adviceguide.com

If you need help with benefits and tax credits, employment, education, housing, debt or a range of other issues Community Legal Services Direct is a free government funded confidential advice service for those on a low income or benefits. You can call them on 0845 345 4345 or visit their website at www.clsdirect.org.uk

Entitledto is a website to help people make sure that they are claiming all the benefits and tax credits they are entitled to. The service offers a simple calculator to work out how much you could claim. This site is free and no personal information is required, so anonymity is assured. The website address is www.entitledto.org.uk

If you have lots of debt and want to talk to someone for free about how you might reduce it you can call Debt Reducers on 0800 970 8160 or visit their website at www.debtreducers.co.uk

The organisation Christians Against Poverty is a national debt counselling charity working through a network of 72 centres based in local churches. CAP offers the service regardless of your religious beliefs. To find if there's a centre near you visit www.CAPuk.org

Often the pension funds built up during the marriage can be a valuable family asset. However pensions are dealt with in a different way to realisable assets because the majority of the fund can never be drawn in cash. To find out more about the options available to people who are divorcing in relation to pensions visit www.pensionsadvisoryservice.org.uk/pension_rights/divorce
Or you can ring the Pensions Advisory Service on 0845 601 2923 to ask their experts (or email: enquiries@pensionadvisoryservice.org.uk ) about specific enquiries.

And, just in case…

… you are wondering if you may be able to make a go of the relationship after all, you might find counselling helpful. The two main places to find relationship counselling are through:

Relate who offer advice, relationship counselling and support - you can visit their website on www.relate.org.uk

Alternatively you can search for relationship counsellors on the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) website at: www.bacp.co.uk

Visit Wikivorce for further information on Family Mediation and Divorce Support

 

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